Mentor resources
We’ve put together a few resources to help mentors get off to a great start.
Mentor resources
We’ve put together a few resources to help mentors get off to a great start.
Mentor resources
We’ve put together a few resources to help mentors get off to a great start.
Mentoring is not coaching, advising or consulting. So, what’s the difference?
Coaching
A coach is someone who helps a client achieve their goals, and this is often coupled with learning outcomes and part of their role is to keep the mentee accountable.
Consulting
A consultant provides expert opinions, analysis, and recommendations to organisations or individuals, based on their own expertise. They're essentially fixers, serving as objective troubleshooters, and providing strategies to prevent problems and improve performance.
Mentoring
A mentor shares their knowledge, skills and experience, to help another person develop and grow. A mentor’s primary role is to listen well, ask questions, and help their mentee reflect, guiding them to an insight as opposed to telling them the answer.
For the uninitiated, the terms “mentor” and “mentee” may set up the expectation that mentoring is a one-way street. But we know from experience that a better way to look at mentoring is as a shared transformational experience.
Shared
Sharing is the core of mentoring. It’s a balanced and reciprocal partnership - both parties gain from the honest exchange of thoughts and ideas, stories, observations and feelings.
Transformational
Transformation is knock on effect of a good mentorship. Both mentor and mentee gain insights that can only be developed through conversation and learned experience. The power of sharing insight as opposed to learning skills, is that insights often lead to a change in thinking, fresh ideas, and ultimately a change in behaviour.
Experience
Finally, we use the word experience because a mentorship is not a training program. There is no curriculum or predefined outcomes. It’s a strategic, impactful and rewarding exchange of experience between a mentor and mentee.
Kilfinan’s higher purpose is to see the value created in these transformative experiences ripple outward to positively impact each of you, your mentee’s organisation, and the community or cause the organisation serves.
Create a congenial environment
Trust between you and your mentee must be developed over time and is important to the success of your mentoring relationship. Creating a space where you can both be comfortable is key to making a good start. Be open and share something about yourself.
Insightfully analyse issues
Get to know your mentee’s issues, goals, and organisation so that you can effectively form theories about the leverage points and risks. Navigate your mentee to a solution or a next step – don’t solve it for them. Help by removing roadblocks and creating bridges.
Be an active listener
Make a conscious effort to really, truly pay attention to what your mentee is saying, and understand that sometimes your mentee might not say everything up front. Pay attention to their non-verbal cues and listen for underlying messages. Don’t feel compelled to fill silences – allow your mentee time to reflect.
Explore by asking open questions
The best thing you can do for your mentee is to listen closely to what they’re saying and respond with open questions to dig deeper. Open questions force your mentee to reflect. By doing so, you act as a sounding board for your mentee which is often what they need.
Give good feedback
You may have the very best of intentions and even the right ideas, but if you do not provide feedback in a way that works for your mentee, the opportunity for a constructive conversation will most likely be lost. Feedback should be specific, descriptive, timely, constructive, balanced, and non-judgemental.
Judge when and how to intervene
Understand when to point your mentee in the right direction and when to wait before giving advice. Use your intuitive skills to decide when to listen, explore, give feedback or share some of your own experience. You are there as a guide, but your mentee needs to take ultimate responsibility for their own learning.
Inspire confidence
Part of your role is to inspire your mentee to reach their fullest potential and challenge their comfort zone. Help them achieve the uncomfortable. Celebrating their achievements and milestones will go a long way toward building your mentee’s confidence and keeping them focused and motivated.
We’ve been in this game for a while and find there are four common reasons why mentorships sometimes don’t get off the ground.
Lack of commitment
This is the number one reason mentorships don’t succeed. Mentees must be committed to the process, and actively “opt-in.” They will miss out on the benefits of mentoring if they are unable to commit to the relationship, or there is some resistance to fully engaging in it. Sometimes this can happen if potential mentees are pressured into mentoring by external stakeholders (such as a board director or direct report).
This often surfaces in behaviour such as repetitive cancelled appointments, disjointed conversations or not taking responsibility for following up with their mentor. Mentees who are committed and motivated will take responsibility for driving the relationship and have the most to gain.
Unsuitable match
Making great matches is the key to success. If the chemistry isn’t there, or the pair struggle to gain trust and rapport, the mentorship will grind to a halt. Sometimes it can be difficult for mentors and mentees to be honest about this with us or each other if the match isn’t working. If you’re struggling to find a good rhythm, reach out and let us know! We’ve seen all sorts of scenarios and can help get things back on track.
Lack of confidence
Mentees can sometimes be reluctant to contact their mentor for support if they feel like their mentor is too busy. This may be an indication of the mentee being intimidated by the mentor or lacking a sense a self-worth in their mentorship. It’s important to know that this goes both ways, and our mentors are also actively opting-in. They get involved because they want to help and get lots out of it too.
Bad timing
Can’t get a meeting scheduled in? Struggling to find time? We’ve all been there. If you are truly finding it difficult to find time, we suggest asking to put the process on hold rather than progressing. We’ll be there to help when you’re ready.
The art of mentoring
Mentoring is not coaching, advising or consulting. So, what’s the difference?
Coaching
A coach is someone who helps a client achieve their goals, and this is often coupled with learning outcomes and part of their role is to keep the mentee accountable.
Consulting
A consultant provides expert opinions, analysis, and recommendations to organisations or individuals, based on their own expertise. They're essentially fixers, serving as objective troubleshooters, and providing strategies to prevent problems and improve performance.
Mentoring
A mentor shares their knowledge, skills and experience, to help another person develop and grow. A mentor’s primary role is to listen well, ask questions, and help their mentee reflect, guiding them to an insight as opposed to telling them the answer.
For the uninitiated, the terms “mentor” and “mentee” may set up the expectation that mentoring is a one-way street. But we know from experience that a better way to look at mentoring is as a shared transformational experience.
Shared
Sharing is the core of mentoring. It’s a balanced and reciprocal partnership - both parties gain from the honest exchange of thoughts and ideas, stories, observations and feelings.
Transformational
Transformation is knock on effect of a good mentorship. Both mentor and mentee gain insights that can only be developed through conversation and learned experience. The power of sharing insight as opposed to learning skills, is that insights often lead to a change in thinking, fresh ideas, and ultimately a change in behaviour.
Experience
Finally, we use the word experience because a mentorship is not a training program. There is no curriculum or predefined outcomes. It’s a strategic, impactful and rewarding exchange of experience between a mentor and mentee.
Kilfinan’s higher purpose is to see the value created in these transformative experiences ripple outward to positively impact each of you, your mentee’s organisation, and the community or cause the organisation serves.
How to be a great mentor
Create a congenial environment
Trust between you and your mentee must be developed over time and is important to the success of your mentoring relationship. Creating a space where you can both be comfortable is key to making a good start. Be open and share something about yourself.
Insightfully analyse issues
Get to know your mentee’s issues, goals, and organisation so that you can effectively form theories about the leverage points and risks. Navigate your mentee to a solution or a next step – don’t solve it for them. Help by removing roadblocks and creating bridges.
Be an active listener
Make a conscious effort to really, truly pay attention to what your mentee is saying, and understand that sometimes your mentee might not say everything up front. Pay attention to their non-verbal cues and listen for underlying messages. Don’t feel compelled to fill silences – allow your mentee time to reflect.
Explore by asking open questions
The best thing you can do for your mentee is to listen closely to what they’re saying and respond with open questions to dig deeper. Open questions force your mentee to reflect. By doing so, you act as a sounding board for your mentee which is often what they need.
Give good feedback
You may have the very best of intentions and even the right ideas, but if you do not provide feedback in a way that works for your mentee, the opportunity for a constructive conversation will most likely be lost. Feedback should be specific, descriptive, timely, constructive, balanced, and non-judgemental.
Judge when and how to intervene
Understand when to point your mentee in the right direction and when to wait before giving advice. Use your intuitive skills to decide when to listen, explore, give feedback or share some of your own experience. You are there as a guide, but your mentee needs to take ultimate responsibility for their own learning.
Inspire confidence
Part of your role is to inspire your mentee to reach their fullest potential and challenge their comfort zone. Help them achieve the uncomfortable. Celebrating their achievements and milestones will go a long way toward building your mentee’s confidence and keeping them focused and motivated.
Common mentoring pitfalls
We’ve been in this game for a while and find there are four common reasons why mentorships sometimes don’t get off the ground.
Lack of commitment
This is the number one reason mentorships don’t succeed. Mentees must be committed to the process, and actively “opt-in.” They will miss out on the benefits of mentoring if they are unable to commit to the relationship, or there is some resistance to fully engaging in it. Sometimes this can happen if potential mentees are pressured into mentoring by external stakeholders (such as a board director or direct report).
This often surfaces in behaviour such as repetitive cancelled appointments, disjointed conversations or not taking responsibility for following up with their mentor. Mentees who are committed and motivated will take responsibility for driving the relationship and have the most to gain.
Unsuitable match
Making great matches is the key to success. If the chemistry isn’t there, or the pair struggle to gain trust and rapport, the mentorship will grind to a halt. Sometimes it can be difficult for mentors and mentees to be honest about this with us or each other if the match isn’t working. If you’re struggling to find a good rhythm, reach out and let us know! We’ve seen all sorts of scenarios and can help get things back on track.
Lack of confidence
Mentees can sometimes be reluctant to contact their mentor for support if they feel like their mentor is too busy. This may be an indication of the mentee being intimidated by the mentor or lacking a sense a self-worth in their mentorship. It’s important to know that this goes both ways, and our mentors are also actively opting-in. They get involved because they want to help and get lots out of it too.
Bad timing
Can’t get a meeting scheduled in? Struggling to find time? We’ve all been there. If you are truly finding it difficult to find time, we suggest asking to put the process on hold rather than progressing. We’ll be there to help when you’re ready.